Universal Housewife (Tuli Kupferberg)

“Universal Housewife” Sheet Music (pdf).
“Universal Housewife” Karaoke (midi with lyrics).

Lyrics: Tuli Kupferberg.
Tune: “Universal Soldier” (Buffy Saint-Marie).


She’s five feet two, and she’s six feet four.
She works with pampers and with shears.
She’s all of sixty-one, and she’s only seventeen.
She’s been a housewife for a hundred thousand years.

She’s a woman; she’s a man, a houseboy Charlie Chan,
Filipino, homosexual, and a Jew.
And she knows she shouldn’t slave, and she knows she’ll stay a knave
Account of me, my friends, and account of you.

And she’s sewing for Canada; she’s cooking for France;
She’s cleaning for the U. S. A.
And she’s mopping for the Russians, and she’s shopping for Japan.
And she thinks she’ll put an end to toil this way.

And she’s washing all the dishes, and she’s making all the beds.
She says it’s for the good of all.
She’s the one who must decide what to leave and what to buy,
And she’s wiping all the writing off the wall.

But without her, how would Hitler have condemned her to the slops?
Without her, Moses would’ve jerked alone.
She’s the one who gives her body like utensils in a store.
And without her, all this drudgin’ can’t go on.

She’s the universal housewife, and she really is to blame.
Her own false standards, they deprave.
They come from here and now and you and me.
And, comrades, can’t you see?
This is not the way we put an end to slaves.


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