Landlord and Tenant (Sydney Carter)

“Landlord and Tenant” Sheet Music (pdf).
“Landlord and Tenant” Karaoke (midi with lyrics).

Lyrics: Sydney Carter.
Tune: Sydney Carter.

I kept my money in an old tin chest
’Til I saw a poster, and it said invest.
If you want a bank that will never go bust,
Then put your money in the Blue Chip Trust.
We welcome the small investor.
Ev’ry one a capitalist.

So, I wrote to the Blue Chip right away,
And back came a letter the following day.
“Four per cent on ev’ry quid
If you invest it.” So I did.
And I sat back,
Waiting for the dividend.

They came alright. Those chips were blue.
But along came a letter from the landlords, too.
“Your rent is going up,” it said.
“Two pounds a week.”
Well, I saw red.
I wrote them a letter.

To Tentacle Limited. (That was the name.)
I wrote damn quick and said it was a shame.
But Tentacle said, “Well, don’t blame us.
We only act for the Blue Chip Trust.
They own the property.
We only collect the rent!”

To Blue Chip, ECL, I went
To ask them why they were putting up the rent.
A young man said,
“Well, it really distressed us,
But we must think of our investors.”
“I do,” I said.

To pay myself my four per cent,
It seems I’ve got to raise my rent.
I can’t afford the rent, and so
I told myself I’ve got to go.
A small percentage of me
Has never had it so good!

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