I Wish I Were a Farmer (Pennsylvania Dutch)

“I Wish I Were a Farmer” Sheet Music (pdf).
“I Wish I Were a Farmer” (in Pennsylvania Dutch) Karaoke (midi with lyrics).
“I Wish I Were a Farmer” (in English) Karaoke (midi with lyrics).

A Pennsylvania Dutch Folk Song.
A Song of the Farm.
Lyrics: Wendell Kitzmiller (Ezra Grumbine).
Tune: “Michael Schneider’s Party.”


Ich wott ich waer en Bauer
Un hett en Bauerei,
Hett griene Geil un geele Kich
Un schwaze Nieggersei!
Ich wott ich hett en Bauerei
An Machadunki Grick,
Noo deet ich Keffer schiesse geh
Im Siessgrummbiere Schtick.

Die Raawe uff de Weetzebeem,
Der haarich Hinkelfloh,
Der Grautwarrem an die Hickerniss,
Die Leis am Paschingschtroh,
Des Schtofft misst all an’s draewle geh,
Wann ich der Bauer waer;
Mit “Paris Green” un Bulfer-bix,
Noo gingt ich iwwer sie haer!

Ich fang en neie Faeschen aa:
Im Winter mach ich’s Hoi;
Wann’s heess iss, bleib ich aus der Sunn
Un fress die Kascheboi!
Ich grick mer en weissi Schmierkess-kuh,
En Hoofvoll “Guinea” gens,
En mechtich hoocher Root-rieb-baam,
Un e Paetten-ledder Fens.

Die Hinkel halt ich in der Kich,
Der Sei-Schtall fer der Dier;
Grick Rock un Hosse vun Kaduu
Un Kallers vun Babier.
En brauner brinslich Muuli-bull
Muss in mei Scheierhoof,
Aelpaeke Ende, Borzert-hund,
Un Kotschin-Schenghei Schoof.

Ich bau uf meinre Bauerei
En roodes Schweizer-haus,
Ich mach mei ganser Gaarde rumm,
Un seh’n mit Walniss naus!
Ach wann ich doch en Bauer waer
Un hett en Bauerei,
Un hett en groosi dicki Fraa,
Dann wott ich Bauer sei!


I wish I were a farmer
And had a homestead farm
With horses green and yellow cows
And a wife to keep me warm!
I wish I had a homestead farm
On Mahantongo’s banks.
I’d meet the bugs in a shooting match
In the sweet potato ranks!

With caterpillars on the wheat,
The chickens full of fleas,
The cabbage-worm on the hick’ry nuts,
And lice upon the trees!
These things must stop their hungry crawl,
If I’d a farmer be.
With “Paris Green” in a blunderbuss,
I’d spray them well, you see!

I’d start right here a fashion new.
In winter, I’d make hay.
When it is hot, I’d just keep cool
And rest the live-long day!
I’d get myself a cream-cheese cow,
A flock of “Guinea” hens,
A mighty high, good red-beet tree,
And a patent leather fence!

I’d keep the chickens in the house,
The pigpen by the door;
With coat and pants of calico,
And paper collars, four.
A nice, brown, brindled Moolie-bull,
In my barnyard I’d keep,
Alpaca Geese, a Borzert Dog,
And Cochin-Shanghai Sheep!

I’d build upon my homestead farm
A house all painted white.
Surrounded with my walnut trees,
It’ll really be a sight!
Ach, if I was a farming man
And had a homestead farm
And had a wife so big and fat
To keep this farmer warm.


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