No Irish Need Apply (J. F. Poole)

“No Irish Need Apply” Sheet Music (pdf).
“No Irish Need Apply” Karaoke (midi with lyrics).

Lyrics: J. F. Poole.
Tune: J. F. Poole.


I’m a decent boy just landed
From the town of Ballyfad;
I want a situation,
And I want it very bad;
I have seen employment advertized;
“It’s just the thing,” says I;
But the dirty spalpeen ended with
“No Irish Need Apply.”

“Whoo,” says I, “that is an insult,
But to get the place I’ll try.”
So I went to see the blackguard
With his “No Irish Need Apply.”
Some do think it a misfortune
To be christened ‘Pat’ or ‘Dan,’
But to me it is an honor
To be born an Irish man.

I started out to find the house;
I got there mighty soon;
I found the old chap seated;
He was reading The Tribune;
I told him what I came for,
When he in a rage did fly;
“No,” he says, “you are a Paddy,
And no Irish need apply.”

Then I gets my dander rising,
And I’d like to black his eye
For to tell an Irish gentleman
“No Irish Need Apply.”
Some do think it a misfortune
To be christened ‘Pat’ or ‘Dan,’
But to me it is an honor
To be born an Irish man.

I couldn’t stand it longer,
So ahold of him I took,
And I gave him such a beating
As he’d get at Donnybrook;
He hollered “Milia Murther”
And to get away did try
And swore he’d never write again
“No Irish Need Apply.”

Well, he made a big apology;
I told him then goodbye,
Saying, “When next you want a beating,
Write “No Irish Need Apply.”
Some do think it a misfortune
To be christened ‘Pat’ or ‘Dan,’
But to me it is an honor
To be born an Irish man.


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