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T-Bone Slim

"The Lumberjack's Prayer" (karaoke)

"The Lumberjack's Prayer" (sheet music)


I pray dear Lord for Jesus' sake,
Give us this day a T-bone steak,
Hallowed by thy holy name,
But don't forget to send the same.

Oh, hear my humble cry, O Lord,
And send us down some decent board,
Brown gravy and some German fried,
With sliced tomatoes on the side.

Observe me on my bended legs,
I'm asking you for ham and eggs,
And if thou haves't custard pies,
I like, dear Lord, the largest size.

Oh, hear my cry, All Mighty Host,
I quite forgot the quail on toast,
Please let your kindly heart be stirred,
And stuff some oysters in that bird.

Dear Lord, we know your holy wish,
On Friday, we must have a fish,
Our flesh is weak and spirit stale,
You better make that fish a whale.

Oh, hear us Lord, remove these "Dogs,"
These sausages of powdered logs;
Your bull beef hash and bearded snouts,
Take them to hell or thereabouts.

With alum bread and pressed-beef butts,
Dear Lord, they've damn near ruined my guts;
Your white-wash milk and oleorine,
I wish to Christ I'd never seen.

Oh, hear me Lord, I'm praying still,
But if you won't, our union will
Put pork chops on the bill of fare
And starve no workers anywhere.

Answer to the prayer:

I am happy to say this prayer has been answered—by the "old man" himself. He tells me He has furnished—plenty for all—and that if I am not getting mine it's because I am not organized SUFFICIENTLY strong to force the master to loosen up. He tells me he has no knowledge of Dogs, Pressed-Beef Butts, etc., and that they probably are products of the Devil. He further informs me that Capitalists are children of Hisn—and that he absolutely refuses to participate in any children's squabbles. He believes in letting us fight it out along the lines of Industrial Unionism.

Yours in faith,
T-Bone Slim

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