“The Left-Handed Song for Human Rights” Sheet Music (pdf).
“The Left-Handed Song for Human Rights” Karaoke (midi with lyrics).
Lyrics: Joanna Cazden.
Tune: Joanna Cazden.
Come gather ’round, good people, and you must listen well.
There’s a danger in our country, as you will hear me tell.
It begins with banging elbows, as peacefully you dine.
It will end with the destruction of all that’s good and fine.
So, pass the laws; pass the laws. Make it clear in every clause.
Left-handeds are humanoid. We’ve got to keep them unemployed.
Southpaw liberation is the ruin of our nation.
Make it formal; make ’em normal. Pass the laws!
We can’t have them in the army or teaching in our schools.
Their minds are backward-sinister; they’ll undermine the rules.
And they’re stubborn as the devil, though we lecture every night
That the Bible cautions us to follow all that’s good and Right.
So, pass the laws; pass the laws. Make it clear in every clause.
Left-handeds are humanoid. We’ve got to keep them unemployed.
Southpaw liberation is the ruin of our nation.
Make it formal; make ’em normal. Pass the laws!
We have tested them and twisted them and taunted them with rocks,
Tried Thorazine and Freud, behavior mod, electric shocks.
We’ve erased from all our history books this mutant ten-percent.
We have robbed them of their children, and still they won’t repent.
[spoken]
“But you must understand I carry no personal bitterness against these unfortunate people,” she said.
“As a matter of fact, it’s at great personal sacrifice that I have undertaken this cause.”
I can no longer hire to babysit the young girl living next to us
For I heard her tell the children that she is Ambidextrous.
Worst of all, she had the nerve to say that anyone can learn
The “fulfilling, conscious joy” of using either hand by turn! No!
Pass the laws; pass the laws. Make it clear in every clause.
Left-handeds are humanoid. We’ve got to keep them unemployed.
Southpaw liberation is the ruin of our nation.
Make it formal; make ’em normal. Pass the laws!
There are left and right, and white and black, short ones below, tall ones above,
Many ways we choose to live, ways we look, and ways we love.
And though differences are scary, I declare the bigger fright
Is in bigotry legitimized: the danger’s on the Right!
So, pass the laws; pass the laws. Make it clear in every clause.
People are created free. You’re a perfect you; I’m a perfect me.
Human liberation is our only salvation.
Make it formal; not abnormal. Pass the laws!