“Room for One” Sheet Music (pdf).
“Room for One” Karaoke (midi with lyrics).
Lyrics: Harold Rome.
Tune: Harold Rome.
Although a girl is cute,
She must follow what Il Duce
Commands, but it’s no use:
I simply can’t produce.
I’m sure that Mussolini
Thinks I’m an awful meany.
No matter how I try,
I cannot multiply.
Gee, even twins for me would be sublime.
But no matter what I do,
I just get one each time!
I feel quite bitter
’Cause dogs have a litter,
And best I can do is just one.
I envy the rabbits
With their plural habits:
They know how the thing
Should be done.
I’m told that kangaroos have them
By threes and twos.
Turtles are fertile by the score.
That Mister A. Moeba’s
A mighty conceiver:
He keeps getting more and more.
You never did see
A pod with one pea:
A pod with one pea’s not much fun.
And every cow mudder
Has lots in her udder,
But I’ve only room for one.
Oh, how I try
For a bigger supply,
But I guess that it just can’t be done.
The neighbors are scornful;
They make my life mournful
’Cause best I can do is just one.
Senora Marg’ret Sanger
Would view with great anger
The things that I’m trying hard to do.
I’m so patriotic,
I’m getting neurotic.
And here I can’t even get two!
I feel so darn futile
When I look at a poodle:
They get at least four and that’s fun.
With pigs in the sty,
The limit’s the sky,
But I— I—
[break out crying]